Introduction
I have been wanting to start a blog about my experiences with my adopted siblings since I have yet to find any blogs or books written from the perspective of an older, biological child plus I need an outlet to vent and get my thoughts out. I haven't started a blog before now because I have always struggled with how to start it. Since there has been some struggles going on with one of my younger, adopted siblings, I have had the need to get my thoughts out even more. I finally decided that not knowing how to start this blog was not a good enough excuse anymore. I figured that the best place to start was a short introduction and background to my family. I promise there will be more detail in the coming posts.
I was 18 and living on my own when my first adopted sibling came home. Up until that point, it had only been my biological brother (T.P.) and I. We're two years apart and we have always had a love/hate relationship (we still do). For as long as I can remember, adoption was always talked about in our family. My mom had always wanted to adopt and would spend hours on adoption websites. The thought of having another sibling that I might actually get along with was fine with me. My dad was always the one who drug his feet about adopting. When they finally agreed to adopt I was already a senior in high school. They agreed to adopt an older girl from Guatemala (my dad is fluent in Spanish and wanted to adopt from a Spanish speaking country). They found a facilitator that specialized in Guatemalan adoptions and we were matched with A.J. She was 10 when she came home and she DID NOT like me for about the first year (more on that in another post). She is now 18, a junior in high school and a very smart, funny, loving, young woman who definitely has her share of issues and is currently giving my mom quite a few gray hairs.
About two years after A.J. came home, my mom and dad divorced. They were planning on adopting A.J.'s biological siblings so all the paperwork was current. Before my mom's paperwork expired, my mom decided to adopt again. This time she chose Brazil and was matched with a sibling pair, T and R. By this time I was living in another state and was engaged so it was a little difficult trying to establish a relationship as their sister instead of some stranger who called every couple days and sometimes came to visit (again, more on my relationship with them later). T 14 is and R is 12 and they've been home for four years now. T and R also have their share of problems but I have never known two kids their age who work so hard and will do anything you ask them to do. T is a beautiful and very loving young woman. R is extremely funny and has the best smile of anyone I know.
All three of the youngers have Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) which is to be expected of older, adopted kids so they all have a hard time connecting to family members like a biological child would. Their journeys have definitely been difficult and there have been many trying times as a sibling but I can honestly say that I can't remember my life before them ( I have memories but I don't remember what it was like without them in my life). I can say without any doubt that God placed all three of them in my life for a reason and I am truly blessed to have them in my life.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Kylie Rae (Long)
I've been totally slacking on my blogging lately. I started a new blog to write about my experiences being an older child to adopted kids and since I can't remember my password to get into that blog, I'm going to use this blog to write about all that fun stuff. Before I do that though, I figured I should write a little about Kylie Rae!
Kylie was born on March 25th at 10:21 pm. My labor was so different from William. It was easy and smooth and fast (compared to 20 hours with William, anything is fast). I had been having contractions for many weeks and was taken off bed rest at 36 weeks and everyone, including the doctor, thought I would go into labor that weekend. Kylie had different plans though. On the 24th I started having contractions that were closer than the normally were but they weren't painful so I went to bed not worried about anything. The next morning, my contractions were still about 4-5 mins apart but since they weren't painful, the doctor didn't want me going to the hospital just yet. Finally around 3:00, Kyle told me we were going to the hospital even though I wasn't in pain because he "refused to deliver his baby at home".
We arrived at the hospital about 3:30 and I was only 3 cms dilated. The nurse gave me an hour to dilate to 4 or I was going home. We walked around for an hour and that did the trick. My contractions still weren't painful at all so we hung out in the room watching March Madness. Around 9:00, my contractions got really painful fast so I got my epidural. I was only about 6 cms at that point so my mom decided to start heading home about 10:00. As soon as she left the room I started feeling a ton of pressure so the nurse checked me. I went from 6-10 cms in about a half hour so we called my mom back and I started pushing around 10:15 and she was born at 10:21 weighing in at 7lbs 12oz and 21 inches long.
Since her birth was different than William's we should have known that she was going to be a very different baby. The first six weeks were miserable. She cried ALL THE TIME and would only sleep while being held. She slept in our bed on my pillow and had to be forehead to forehead which at first was really sweet but then got really hard to get good sleep. I finally took her into the doctor at six weeks and she was diagnosed with reflux and put on medication. Since then she is a totally different baby. She is easy going, sleeps through the night, and is very happy. At that appointment she was also diagnosed with an umbilical hernia that will have to be surgically repaired. She has an appointment for that next week so we'll find out then when her surgery is.
William is an amazing big brother. He is totally in love with Kylie and she is in love with him. He loves to get her binkie when she cries and he keeps his eye on her when someone else is holding her. He loves to give her kisses and hugs and his new favorite thing is to lay down next to her when she is playing on her mat. It is so cute to watch. I can't wait to see their relationship grow as they get older.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
2010 In Review
I've been meaning to write this post since the beginning of the New Year but it always seems like something else comes up. Since William is on his second nap and I just can justify taking a second one with him, I figure now is as good of time as any.
2010 in the Parrish home brought some very big changes. It started off with the possibility of Kyle having to go on Recruiting duty. He had gotten out of his orders twice before (due to him teaching his class) so we pretty much figured it wouldn't be any different this time. We very quickly figured out that there was no getting out of these orders no matter what Kyle tried to do and he tried everything. We really felt like God was shutting every door on us and that Kyle was really supposed to be a recruiter. We spent most of the year knowing that we were moving but we had no idea where. It's really difficult trying to plan a move when you don't know where you're going to end up. In August Kyle started recruiters school and a month after he started we found out we would be moving to Wenatchee, WA. We were both excited because we wanted to be closer to family and you can't really beat the views in WA. Kyle graduated on his birthday, October 21st, and we moved from San Diego to WA November 2nd.
The other big change hasn't exactly happened yet but we found out that I was pregnant on July 22nd. I'm due April 1st and we're having a little girl. We were both extremely shocked to find out we were having a girl. We both thought that we would only have boys but we are excited to have a little girl in the house. After we came up with William's name, we decided that if we ever had a girl we would name her Kylie (after Kyle) Rae (after my mom, grandma, and great-grandfather). The closer I get to my due date the more and more excited I get to meet this little girl but I'm also very nervous about having a new baby and a very active toddler in the house.
Speaking of the very active toddler, we celebrated William's first birthday this May. He is an amazing little boy and I thank God everyday for bringing him into our lives. He is so funny, very loving, and very much ALL BOY! He recently has decided that he needs to hit and kick everything in the house and that every toy he has is a weapon. He loves to wrestle and tackle Kyle and just like his daddy, he thinks he's the funniest thing on this Earth. He says quite a few words but he's determined to just jabber full sentences at you and we are slowly figuring out what he's trying to say. He pretty much skipped saying just words and went right to full sentences. He is a very loving little boy and will give kisses and hugs to pretty much anyone who asks and every once in awhile I get him to sit still enough to cuddle with me. He is very interested in my belly and pulls my shirt up and gives "ya-ya" (Kylie's nickname from William) kisses and high fives. Hopefully he'll be this loving when she gets here.
I'm very excited to see what 2011 brings to our house although I could do without another move :)
2010 in the Parrish home brought some very big changes. It started off with the possibility of Kyle having to go on Recruiting duty. He had gotten out of his orders twice before (due to him teaching his class) so we pretty much figured it wouldn't be any different this time. We very quickly figured out that there was no getting out of these orders no matter what Kyle tried to do and he tried everything. We really felt like God was shutting every door on us and that Kyle was really supposed to be a recruiter. We spent most of the year knowing that we were moving but we had no idea where. It's really difficult trying to plan a move when you don't know where you're going to end up. In August Kyle started recruiters school and a month after he started we found out we would be moving to Wenatchee, WA. We were both excited because we wanted to be closer to family and you can't really beat the views in WA. Kyle graduated on his birthday, October 21st, and we moved from San Diego to WA November 2nd.
The other big change hasn't exactly happened yet but we found out that I was pregnant on July 22nd. I'm due April 1st and we're having a little girl. We were both extremely shocked to find out we were having a girl. We both thought that we would only have boys but we are excited to have a little girl in the house. After we came up with William's name, we decided that if we ever had a girl we would name her Kylie (after Kyle) Rae (after my mom, grandma, and great-grandfather). The closer I get to my due date the more and more excited I get to meet this little girl but I'm also very nervous about having a new baby and a very active toddler in the house.
Speaking of the very active toddler, we celebrated William's first birthday this May. He is an amazing little boy and I thank God everyday for bringing him into our lives. He is so funny, very loving, and very much ALL BOY! He recently has decided that he needs to hit and kick everything in the house and that every toy he has is a weapon. He loves to wrestle and tackle Kyle and just like his daddy, he thinks he's the funniest thing on this Earth. He says quite a few words but he's determined to just jabber full sentences at you and we are slowly figuring out what he's trying to say. He pretty much skipped saying just words and went right to full sentences. He is a very loving little boy and will give kisses and hugs to pretty much anyone who asks and every once in awhile I get him to sit still enough to cuddle with me. He is very interested in my belly and pulls my shirt up and gives "ya-ya" (Kylie's nickname from William) kisses and high fives. Hopefully he'll be this loving when she gets here.
I'm very excited to see what 2011 brings to our house although I could do without another move :)
Monday, May 24, 2010
A family update
I realize that I haven't posted in a very long time and I really don't have an excuse. Anyways, here's my long overdue family update.
This month we celebrated William's first birthday! I can't believe he's already a year old. He is such a joy and is such a happy baby. He is constantly smiling which is very contagious. We got to spend his first Easter in Alabama with Kyle's family and with the exception of being a bit overwhelmed, he did amazingly well even on the 5 hour flight home. A couple days after we got home he started walking and hasn't stopped. He would be very happy if he could be running too. He's still in the 99% for height but is only in the 47% for weight. The doctor said not to worry since he eats ALL THE TIME but he's constantly moving. I really wish I had his metabolism! He is slowly starting to talk. He says dada, daddy, doggy, Jack, bath, and done but still refuses to say mama. I will ask him to say all of the above and try to sneak in mama but he just sits there and acts like he can't hear me. He is so stubborn (gets that from his father). He loves being in water whether it's a pool or a bath. He is very loving and will walk over to Kyle and I just to give us a hug or a kiss. My heart just melts every time he does it. A friend of mine told me that the biggest changes come between 12 and 18 months so I'm so excited to see how much he changes in the next couple months.
The big news of our family is that we are moving around the beginning of Nov. Kyle got recruiting orders and will be done with the school around the end of October. We won't know until the second week of September where we will be moving to. We would love to move to either Spokane or Mobile to be close to family but so far it looks like that won't be an option. We're both kind of excited and bummed out about his new job. Neither one of us is looking forward to the actual recruiting aspect of it because recruiters have extremely long hours including the weekends but we're kind of excited to move somewhere new and it's a great career opportunity for Kyle.
We are going to be quite busy this summer. Johana is coming to stay with us for the whole summer and Tati will be here half of the summer. Mom and RJ will be here in the middle of July to celebrate Jae's 18th birthday. It will be so fun to have all of them here and I'm really looking forward to spending so much time with the girls.
This month we celebrated William's first birthday! I can't believe he's already a year old. He is such a joy and is such a happy baby. He is constantly smiling which is very contagious. We got to spend his first Easter in Alabama with Kyle's family and with the exception of being a bit overwhelmed, he did amazingly well even on the 5 hour flight home. A couple days after we got home he started walking and hasn't stopped. He would be very happy if he could be running too. He's still in the 99% for height but is only in the 47% for weight. The doctor said not to worry since he eats ALL THE TIME but he's constantly moving. I really wish I had his metabolism! He is slowly starting to talk. He says dada, daddy, doggy, Jack, bath, and done but still refuses to say mama. I will ask him to say all of the above and try to sneak in mama but he just sits there and acts like he can't hear me. He is so stubborn (gets that from his father). He loves being in water whether it's a pool or a bath. He is very loving and will walk over to Kyle and I just to give us a hug or a kiss. My heart just melts every time he does it. A friend of mine told me that the biggest changes come between 12 and 18 months so I'm so excited to see how much he changes in the next couple months.
The big news of our family is that we are moving around the beginning of Nov. Kyle got recruiting orders and will be done with the school around the end of October. We won't know until the second week of September where we will be moving to. We would love to move to either Spokane or Mobile to be close to family but so far it looks like that won't be an option. We're both kind of excited and bummed out about his new job. Neither one of us is looking forward to the actual recruiting aspect of it because recruiters have extremely long hours including the weekends but we're kind of excited to move somewhere new and it's a great career opportunity for Kyle.
We are going to be quite busy this summer. Johana is coming to stay with us for the whole summer and Tati will be here half of the summer. Mom and RJ will be here in the middle of July to celebrate Jae's 18th birthday. It will be so fun to have all of them here and I'm really looking forward to spending so much time with the girls.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
William update
I realize that it has been three months since my last "William" update. I can't believe how fast time has gone! I'll get right to the update...
William started crawling and he is so fast. For about the first month he was still getting used to crawling and didn't really go anywhere. He enjoyed the comforts of the living room and he was good with that but once he figured out that there was more to the world than just the living room, he was off and wanted to look in every room of the apartment. Did you know you can lose a baby in an 1,100 sq foot apartment? I didn't know that until it happened but you can. He loves playing with the scale in the bathroom and he recently learned how to open up the cabinets in the kitchen and pull out whatever is in that cabinet. Metal mixing bowls can get REALLY loud.
William is also pulling himself up and walking around furniture. Since he started pulling himself up he has earned the nickname booboo. He is very adventurous but hasn't quite figured out that he can't stand by himself yet and just because you can climb over something doesn't mean you should. We have at least one major accident a day and I've come to realize that I'm going to have the child in the class with a permanent bruise on his forehead. I'm actually really excited for him to start walking. I look forward to running around with him and going for walks. I'm also ready for my back to quit hurting from carrying him everywhere :)
William and I flew up to Spokane for a week to go to the family condo in Idaho. I've been going there for as long as I can remember so it was pretty cool getting to take William up there. It was also so much fun to hang out with my family and William loved playing with all the kids.
We've started feeding him more "adult" food and he really doesn't ever stop eating. His favorite food is green beans and will eat the whole can (small one) if I let him. He also loves goldfish crackers, Cheerios, and Cantaloupe.
The last couple months have brought about a lot of changes and it is so much fun watching him grow. He has such a personality and is constantly smiling and laughing (usually at himself). I am so blessed to have such a healthy, loving baby boy.
"
William started crawling and he is so fast. For about the first month he was still getting used to crawling and didn't really go anywhere. He enjoyed the comforts of the living room and he was good with that but once he figured out that there was more to the world than just the living room, he was off and wanted to look in every room of the apartment. Did you know you can lose a baby in an 1,100 sq foot apartment? I didn't know that until it happened but you can. He loves playing with the scale in the bathroom and he recently learned how to open up the cabinets in the kitchen and pull out whatever is in that cabinet. Metal mixing bowls can get REALLY loud.
William is also pulling himself up and walking around furniture. Since he started pulling himself up he has earned the nickname booboo. He is very adventurous but hasn't quite figured out that he can't stand by himself yet and just because you can climb over something doesn't mean you should. We have at least one major accident a day and I've come to realize that I'm going to have the child in the class with a permanent bruise on his forehead. I'm actually really excited for him to start walking. I look forward to running around with him and going for walks. I'm also ready for my back to quit hurting from carrying him everywhere :)
William and I flew up to Spokane for a week to go to the family condo in Idaho. I've been going there for as long as I can remember so it was pretty cool getting to take William up there. It was also so much fun to hang out with my family and William loved playing with all the kids.
We've started feeding him more "adult" food and he really doesn't ever stop eating. His favorite food is green beans and will eat the whole can (small one) if I let him. He also loves goldfish crackers, Cheerios, and Cantaloupe.
The last couple months have brought about a lot of changes and it is so much fun watching him grow. He has such a personality and is constantly smiling and laughing (usually at himself). I am so blessed to have such a healthy, loving baby boy.
"
Lovin' Aunty Tati
Wrestling with Uncle RJ
All bundled up to go to the pool
Giving Aunty Jae a kiss
First Christmas
Meeting Aunty Ashley for the first time
All bundled up to go to the poolGiving Aunty Jae a kiss
First Christmas
Meeting Aunty Ashley for the first time
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
3 Years
November 25, 2006 started out like any other day but it was the day that changed my life forever. When I went to a friends wedding I didn't realize that I would meet my husband. I am so grateful that I am married to such an amazing man and I can't wait to see what God has planned for us in the future.
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