Wednesday, November 25, 2009
3 Years
November 25, 2006 started out like any other day but it was the day that changed my life forever. When I went to a friends wedding I didn't realize that I would meet my husband. I am so grateful that I am married to such an amazing man and I can't wait to see what God has planned for us in the future.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
6 Months! (a little late but worth the wait)
I can't believe that William is already 6 months old. I remember thinking when he just came home that 6 months seemed so far away and now it's come and gone.
So much has happened this last month. It amazes me how much he changes every month. We started William on solid food. It took him about two sittings before he realized that he liked the stuff and he's never looked back. He started eating a couple bites once a day. After two days he started eating two jars twice a day. My boy likes his food!
William is now sitting by himself. He definitely doesn't do anything until he is good and ready to. We had been working on him sitting and he could do it but he refused to do it unless we were sitting right behind him. And then one day he just decided to start doing it by himself and hasn't quit. He's still not crawling but he has learned how to roll and is very happy to do that and not crawl. For about three weeks we keep thinking he's going to crawl any minute because he rolls over on his stomach, pushes up on his arms, gets up on his toes and pushes off and that's as far as he gets. After his first initial push off he then rolls over and begins rolling around the house. I'm convinced that this is his form of crawling and he's going to skip over the "normal" way of crawling.
We have had a very busy month. Kyle's dad and step mom came down to visit for 4 days. We all got VERY spoiled with them down here and can't wait to see them again. My mom came for a weekend and took care of William so Kyle and I could go out on a date and stay the night at a hotel for our anniversary. It was very much needed and we enjoyed it. I was surprised at how well I did leaving William for the whole night for the first time. I think it helped that it was mom taking care of him and we were only 5 minutes away. This last weekend my best friend and her husband came to the states from Australia and we met up with them in LA. We spent one day in Santa Monica doing the tourist thing and then we went to the San Diego zoo the next day. William did amazingly well for being drug around everywhere for two days.
*pics to follow shortly*
So much has happened this last month. It amazes me how much he changes every month. We started William on solid food. It took him about two sittings before he realized that he liked the stuff and he's never looked back. He started eating a couple bites once a day. After two days he started eating two jars twice a day. My boy likes his food!
William is now sitting by himself. He definitely doesn't do anything until he is good and ready to. We had been working on him sitting and he could do it but he refused to do it unless we were sitting right behind him. And then one day he just decided to start doing it by himself and hasn't quit. He's still not crawling but he has learned how to roll and is very happy to do that and not crawl. For about three weeks we keep thinking he's going to crawl any minute because he rolls over on his stomach, pushes up on his arms, gets up on his toes and pushes off and that's as far as he gets. After his first initial push off he then rolls over and begins rolling around the house. I'm convinced that this is his form of crawling and he's going to skip over the "normal" way of crawling.
We have had a very busy month. Kyle's dad and step mom came down to visit for 4 days. We all got VERY spoiled with them down here and can't wait to see them again. My mom came for a weekend and took care of William so Kyle and I could go out on a date and stay the night at a hotel for our anniversary. It was very much needed and we enjoyed it. I was surprised at how well I did leaving William for the whole night for the first time. I think it helped that it was mom taking care of him and we were only 5 minutes away. This last weekend my best friend and her husband came to the states from Australia and we met up with them in LA. We spent one day in Santa Monica doing the tourist thing and then we went to the San Diego zoo the next day. William did amazingly well for being drug around everywhere for two days.
*pics to follow shortly*
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Adoption (warning: long)
Disclaimer: This post is about adoption so I have used my mom and siblings as examples. Also, I have struggled for almost two weeks to find the words I want to use to write this post so my words might be all over the place.
A couple weeks ago, the Today Show featured a story about a woman who gave her adopted child to another family because they weren't bonding (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33089578/ns/today-parenting_and_family/). I DO NOT agree with her decision to adopt the baby in the first place or give him to another family, I am trying not to judge her decision and this post is not about that. The hardest part about the interview was having to hear her be called a hero. I'm sure that the decision she made was a hard one and I'm sure she didn't take it lightly but in my opinion the decision she made does not make her a hero. The people who adopt and deal with attachment disorders and issues daily are the true heroes.
I have three adopted siblings who were adopted as older children and who have attachment issues. Like this woman, my mom did her research before she adopted and knew how to deal with the attachment issues according to the literature and the therapist but until you adopt a child with attachment issues you really don't know how to deal with it and each kid is different. What may work with one child won't work for the next. Like hundreds of parents who have adopted children with attachment disorders, my mom works with my siblings daily and some days are much harder than others. My sister J was 10 when she came home from Guatemala. She lived with her biological mom up until my mom and dad went to pick her up to bring her home. She was old enough to have a bond with her bio mom and she came home with plenty of memories. She formed an attachment with my dad fairly quickly but refused to get close to my mom or I. If my mom told her not to do something she would roll her eyes and stomp off. I remember the first Mother's Day she spent with us she walked right up to my mom and said "I'm not going to get you anything for Mother's Day because you're not my real mom." I could see the hurt on my mom's face but she said "it was ok because even though she wasn't J's bio mom she was still her mom and would be forever."
T was 10 and R was 7 1/2 when they came home from Brazil. They had lived in an orphanage most of their life. T has some memories of her bio family but all R remembers is that his dad was tall. Even though they didn't have a "family life" they were very used to living on the street and doing things on their own and not having someone telling them what to do. Part of the adoption process in Brazil is for the adopted parents to to go there for six weeks to make sure they the family is a good fit. The first day mom met the kids, they went home with her to the hotel and all hell broke loose. Mom had to hide all the knives because R chased her with one. She had to unplug the phone from the wall and hide her cell phone because the kids would call random numbers and tell them they needed help. She couldn't take a shower for three days because they would either destroy the hotel room because they couldn't get out or they would get out and run away. The lawyer finally stepped in and the kids settled down enough for them to get acquainted with mom. When they came home, T & R would talk to each other in Portuguese and would totally ignore mom. T was more receptive to mom's love but is still struggling with trusting her. She constantly has to know what is going on, what the plan for the day is, where mom is going, and when she's going to be home. If they are planning a trip T has to know when they are leaving, what time they are leaving, what they're going to be doing every minute of every day, why they are going, when they are going back, and how far away it is. She has to have complete control because she doesn't trust anyone but herself. When she first came home she would tell mom that Brazil was better than the states and had a fantasy built up in her mind of how life used to be for her. R is probably the most attached of the three but is about three years behind his peers in maturity and development. When he first came home he was prone to violent outbursts that would sometimes last weeks because he was upset about something. When he remembered to put on clean underwear, he would put them on backwards and inside out. He repeatedly told my mom that he hated her and wanted to go back to Brazil.
All three kids are still dealing with attachment disorders but because of my mom's love and hard work, they have made tremendous strides. J now tells mom she loves her daily and will actually talk to mom about her problems. She was the most improved student at school two years ago which is amazing since she never attended school in Guatemala. T still tries to control stuff when she is stressed out but she will talk to mom about it instead of trying to take control which means that she is starting to trust mom. R is still struggling to catch up to his peers but he is doing very well in school and puts his underwear on correctly every day. He still gets upset but reacts like most kids and is only upset for a little bit. He has even started apologizing when he gets upset.
I know that there are many families who are raising adopted kids who have attachment disorders, some worse than my siblings. I also know there are days when those parents feel like they can't continue raising their kids because it's too hard and they feel like they aren't making any progress but they keep loving their kids unconditionally and parenting them with everything they have because they are true heroes.
A couple weeks ago, the Today Show featured a story about a woman who gave her adopted child to another family because they weren't bonding (http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/33089578/ns/today-parenting_and_family/). I DO NOT agree with her decision to adopt the baby in the first place or give him to another family, I am trying not to judge her decision and this post is not about that. The hardest part about the interview was having to hear her be called a hero. I'm sure that the decision she made was a hard one and I'm sure she didn't take it lightly but in my opinion the decision she made does not make her a hero. The people who adopt and deal with attachment disorders and issues daily are the true heroes.
I have three adopted siblings who were adopted as older children and who have attachment issues. Like this woman, my mom did her research before she adopted and knew how to deal with the attachment issues according to the literature and the therapist but until you adopt a child with attachment issues you really don't know how to deal with it and each kid is different. What may work with one child won't work for the next. Like hundreds of parents who have adopted children with attachment disorders, my mom works with my siblings daily and some days are much harder than others. My sister J was 10 when she came home from Guatemala. She lived with her biological mom up until my mom and dad went to pick her up to bring her home. She was old enough to have a bond with her bio mom and she came home with plenty of memories. She formed an attachment with my dad fairly quickly but refused to get close to my mom or I. If my mom told her not to do something she would roll her eyes and stomp off. I remember the first Mother's Day she spent with us she walked right up to my mom and said "I'm not going to get you anything for Mother's Day because you're not my real mom." I could see the hurt on my mom's face but she said "it was ok because even though she wasn't J's bio mom she was still her mom and would be forever."
T was 10 and R was 7 1/2 when they came home from Brazil. They had lived in an orphanage most of their life. T has some memories of her bio family but all R remembers is that his dad was tall. Even though they didn't have a "family life" they were very used to living on the street and doing things on their own and not having someone telling them what to do. Part of the adoption process in Brazil is for the adopted parents to to go there for six weeks to make sure they the family is a good fit. The first day mom met the kids, they went home with her to the hotel and all hell broke loose. Mom had to hide all the knives because R chased her with one. She had to unplug the phone from the wall and hide her cell phone because the kids would call random numbers and tell them they needed help. She couldn't take a shower for three days because they would either destroy the hotel room because they couldn't get out or they would get out and run away. The lawyer finally stepped in and the kids settled down enough for them to get acquainted with mom. When they came home, T & R would talk to each other in Portuguese and would totally ignore mom. T was more receptive to mom's love but is still struggling with trusting her. She constantly has to know what is going on, what the plan for the day is, where mom is going, and when she's going to be home. If they are planning a trip T has to know when they are leaving, what time they are leaving, what they're going to be doing every minute of every day, why they are going, when they are going back, and how far away it is. She has to have complete control because she doesn't trust anyone but herself. When she first came home she would tell mom that Brazil was better than the states and had a fantasy built up in her mind of how life used to be for her. R is probably the most attached of the three but is about three years behind his peers in maturity and development. When he first came home he was prone to violent outbursts that would sometimes last weeks because he was upset about something. When he remembered to put on clean underwear, he would put them on backwards and inside out. He repeatedly told my mom that he hated her and wanted to go back to Brazil.
All three kids are still dealing with attachment disorders but because of my mom's love and hard work, they have made tremendous strides. J now tells mom she loves her daily and will actually talk to mom about her problems. She was the most improved student at school two years ago which is amazing since she never attended school in Guatemala. T still tries to control stuff when she is stressed out but she will talk to mom about it instead of trying to take control which means that she is starting to trust mom. R is still struggling to catch up to his peers but he is doing very well in school and puts his underwear on correctly every day. He still gets upset but reacts like most kids and is only upset for a little bit. He has even started apologizing when he gets upset.
I know that there are many families who are raising adopted kids who have attachment disorders, some worse than my siblings. I also know there are days when those parents feel like they can't continue raising their kids because it's too hard and they feel like they aren't making any progress but they keep loving their kids unconditionally and parenting them with everything they have because they are true heroes.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
4-5 Months
William's 5 month birthday was spent at the airport welcoming home our good friend Evan from Iraq. He was there for 6 months as a contractor so it was good to see him get home safe and sound and reunite with his daughter and baby girl and it was a great way to spend the day. William is still sleeping very well and changing everyday. He is growing so much everyday and rapidly growing out of his clothes. He has quite the personality on him and LOVES to be the center of attention. When he's awake, our house is never quite because he is constantly cooing or screeching at the top of his lungs. He is learning how to tripod (sit up) and when he's on his stomach he is pulling his legs up under his stomach which is the start of him learning how to crawl. I'm hoping that he holds off the crawling for a couple more months because I am not ready to try to keep up with him. This month is pretty busy too. We're excited to see Kyle's dad and step-mom in the middle of this month and to celebrate Kyle's birthday. And of course we're excited for William's first Halloween. We still don't have a costume for him because Kyle "can't figure out the best costume for him."
That's about all that's been going on. Hopefully next month I won't wait so long to write an update. Here's some pictures from our trip to Spokane
Meeting Papa for the 1st time
Auntie Sara and William
Meeting Nana
Grandpa Stan
Meeting Uncle Tig for the first time. I love this picture of Tyler. He fell in love with William
Meeting Bobpa
Hanging out with Nana Shirley
Auntie Tati loving on William
That's about all that's been going on. Hopefully next month I won't wait so long to write an update. Here's some pictures from our trip to Spokane
Meeting Papa for the 1st timeAuntie Sara and WilliamMeeting Nana
Grandpa Stan
Meeting Uncle Tig for the first time. I love this picture of Tyler. He fell in love with William
Meeting Bobpa
Hanging out with Nana Shirley
Auntie Tati loving on WilliamThursday, August 13, 2009
Naked Pics
Everyone needs to take naked baby pictures and I am no exception to the rule. I personally think that they are for future blackmail plus they are just so cute. Please don't mind the dirty mirror. I didn't notice how dirty it was until I downloaded the pictures on the computer. Anyways, enjoy!
Friday, August 7, 2009
3 Months
Like true Anna-Lisa style, I'm just now getting to William's 3 month update. At least I'm only a couple days late!
It seems like William has grown up a lot since last month. He has started sleeping about 10 hours at night which is VERY nice for mom and dad. We are now formula feeding him so I'm sure that helps out. He has no interest in rolling over yet, but he loves rolling over to his side just enough to make us think he's going to go all the way and then he stops on his side and lays there. He is still talking up a storm but he is actually talking to more than just the blinds. He weighs about 14 pounds now and for those of you keeping track, that's double his birth weight already! His favorite thing to play with these days are his hands. He spends all day sucking, licking, and trying to put his whole hand in his mouth. He is even willing to try other people's hands and arms if you want to share. He now flirts with any female that wants to pay attention to him which worries his mama just a little but of course his dad encourages. He still is a very easygoing baby and we can take him anywhere with us. We have truly been blessed and I can't wait to see how much he grows over the next month.
My little Aggie
MMM...So good
It seems like William has grown up a lot since last month. He has started sleeping about 10 hours at night which is VERY nice for mom and dad. We are now formula feeding him so I'm sure that helps out. He has no interest in rolling over yet, but he loves rolling over to his side just enough to make us think he's going to go all the way and then he stops on his side and lays there. He is still talking up a storm but he is actually talking to more than just the blinds. He weighs about 14 pounds now and for those of you keeping track, that's double his birth weight already! His favorite thing to play with these days are his hands. He spends all day sucking, licking, and trying to put his whole hand in his mouth. He is even willing to try other people's hands and arms if you want to share. He now flirts with any female that wants to pay attention to him which worries his mama just a little but of course his dad encourages. He still is a very easygoing baby and we can take him anywhere with us. We have truly been blessed and I can't wait to see how much he grows over the next month.
My little AggieMMM...So good Yummy
Mom, you're in my way. I can't see the tv
Ugghhh....I hate tummy time!
Mom, you're in my way. I can't see the tv
Ugghhh....I hate tummy time!
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Happy Birthday to a very special lady
Happy birthday mama!! Today is my mom's birthday and I wish I was there to celebrate with her. My mom is an amazing person and gives everything she has to her kids and never complains. Kyle makes fun of me daily because my mom is one of my best friends and we talk at least once a day every day. I wish that she lived closer so I could see her everyday and she could watch William grow up and help me when I feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I hope that I can be the mom to William that she was to me. I love you mom and I'll see you soon. Have a wonderful birthday and make those siblings of mine take care of you and treat you like the queen you are.
P.S. William says that you are a great grandma but you don't look old enough to be his grandma.
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